In a world where achieving results takes center stage and things may not go as planned, leading with empathy is absolutely crucial. But here's the thing: genuine empathy means not being absolutely certain about how someone else feels or what really motivates them. We can never fully know what someone else is going through.
Let's face it, most of us have no clue what it's like not to have enough food to put on the table for our families, or to see 11 pounds (5 Kg) of food go to waste every single day. We have no idea what it feels like to live in a slum or to walk 9 kilometers to school every day (18km roundtrip.) And no idea what it's like to spend US$100,000 on a weekend to rent a superyacht.
But empathy isn't about feeling sorry for someone. It's about trying to understand why they behaved as they did. We can make our best effort to be empathetic, but we have to admit that we can never be completely sure. The truth is, we really don't know how someone else feels or what truly drives them.
In the words of Seth Godin, "Dismissing actions we don't admire merely because we don't care enough to have empathy is rarely going to help us make the change we seek. It doesn't help us understand, and it creates a gulf that drives us apart." Those words hit home and remind us that empathy isn't just a bridge to cross; it's an expansive ocean that connects us, fosters understanding, and propels positive change.
Let's dive into this journey of leading with empathy and draw inspiration from some timeless Stoic principles:
Get to Know Yourself: The Stoics believed that self-reflection and self-awareness were crucial for personal growth. By understanding your own emotions and reactions, you'll gain a better understanding of others. Take a moment to reflect on your own biases, beliefs, and triggers. This self-awareness will help you cultivate empathy toward those around you.
Embrace Our Shared Humanity: Stoicism emphasizes that we all share a common nature and face similar challenges. As a leader, remember that your team members are human beings with their own struggles, dreams, and vulnerabilities. Recognize their humanity and treat them with kindness and understanding.
Step into Their Shoes: Empathy flourishes when we try to imagine ourselves in someone else's position, experiencing their emotions and perspectives. The Stoics encouraged the practice of imagining the hardships others might be facing. By putting yourself in their situation, you'll gain a deeper understanding of their needs and concerns.
Watch Your Reactions: Stoicism teaches us that while we can't control external events, we have control over our own judgments and reactions. As a leader, this means responding to pressure and challenges with composure and empathy. Instead of reacting impulsively, take a moment to pause and consider how your words and actions might impact others. Respond with kindness and understanding, even in tough situations.
Listen Up: Listening is a powerful tool for cultivating empathy. When engaging with your team, practice active listening. Give them your full attention without interrupting or judging. Seek to understand their perspectives, emotions, and underlying concerns. Show genuine interest in their well-being and create a safe space for open communication.
Lead by Example: Stoicism highlights the importance of leading by example. If you want to promote empathy within your team, show empathy yourself. Demonstrate kindness, understanding, and compassion towards others, and chances are they'll follow suit.
Keep Things in Perspective: Stoicism reminds us to maintain a broader perspective on life. When faced with challenges or conflicts, remind yourself of the bigger picture and the long-term goals. This perspective will help you approach difficult situations with empathy and understanding, steering clear of reactive and shortsighted decisions.
Embracing empathy as a guiding principle in your leadership journey holds immeasurable transformative power. Let empathy be the compass that fosters understanding, compassion, and unity in a world yearning for genuine connections. Through empathy, we transcend barriers, bridge divides, and inspire the change that will shape a brighter tomorrow.